Change Your Questions: Using Affirmations Effectively Every Day - Part I

 

What do you think of when you think of "affirmations"? For many, the term conjures up images of someone repeating a phrase over and over, like "Every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better." Certainly that is one way of viewing affirmations, and can be helpful as it is the beginning point of reprogramming some of the beliefs about yourself that you may have picked up through familial, institutional or cultural & societal messaging that we're all exposed to from a very young age. But I would suggest that there are much deeper levels to explore when it comes to affirmations that go beyond dedicated, repeated positive phrases to examining your beliefs, how those beliefs craft your identity, how your identity crafts your life, and how you can change them both for the better.

Noticing self-talk patterns

One way to make the most effective use of spoken affirmations, is to first spend some quality time listening for your own self-talk patterns. Particularly paying attention to what you tend to say to yourself when you make a mistake, are having a challenging day, someone else points out one of your mistakes or flaws, you face adversity in any way, etc. What's your default setting in these cases? What phrases tend to come to mind, or out of your mouth and where did they come from? Did you choose them? Did someone say this about you? For example, if you were raised by someone who tended to refer to you as lazy, or you were always told that, "You've just never been very good at_____ " - then you may find yourself thinking those things in certain situations without ever considering whether they're really true of you. 

Likewise, if you were "labeled" in some way in school, or in teams or groups you belonged to, those early messages can be so easily embedded in your sense of self that it takes becoming conscious of them to begin to heal them and reprogram your brain with a healthier sense of  identity.

Ask better questions, get better answers

In moments of challenge or adversity it's common to find yourself saying things like, "Why does this always happen to me?" or "How do I always manage to get myself into___?"  The problem with questions like this is that they can be triggers for that old identity programming to kick in and supply answers. You say, "Why do I always____?" and your brain responds, "Well, you've just never been good at _____." This reinforces your embedded belief in that personal flaw and the Universe, which absolutely has to respond to what you most deeply believe about yourself, life, the world, etc., will keep delivering more moments of challenge and adversity to align with your beliefs. Do you see the pattern there?

This is where affirmations can be so powerful. Just changing the words you use and beginning to embed new thoughts and phrases with daily practice can reverse that old programming and you will actually start to see your new beliefs out-picturing in your life. It starts with the questions you ask. 

For example, if you struggle with your weight, instead of asking, "Why can't I ever stick to a healthy eating plan?" try a more empowering question like, "Why do I always choose the very best and healthiest foods for my body?" Now your brain has a chance to give a better answer like, "Well, I do that because I am a healthy and fit person who prioritizes her wellbeing and knows she's worth taking care of." Ah-ha! Now the Universe can begin to align with your new identity and you'll find that the right ideas, teachers, experiences, knowledge and everything you need to step into that new identity as a healthy and fit person begin to appear for you. In addition, you'll find it almost effortless to adopt new healthier habits because they're now aligned to who you are, rather than being a forced punishment for an imagined flaw.

You're so much more powerful than you can imagine

You've likely heard the phrase, "What you focus on, you get more of," but maybe you've never taken a moment to truly consider the powerful implications of that statement for crafting the life you truly want. I've actually heard people respond to that statement pessimistically by saying, "Oh great! So it's all my fault if I'm not happy all the time." Although that's essentially true, the person giving that response is missing the point. If "what you focus on, you get more of," then if you don't like what you're seeing in your life, you change your focus and change your life! Sound amazing? It IS.

I encourage you to take the time to sit with your thoughts and examine all the parts of your life that you are dissatisfied with. Think about the beliefs you hold that might be keeping those aspects of you and your life from changing in positive ways; your health, your finances, your relationships, your career, your creative endeavors - look at it all. Then, begin to craft more empowering questions that point toward what you want to see manifest in those areas. Here are a few examples:

Career 

"Why do I always manage to be in the right place at the right time, doing the right things?

"Why do I always receive the best opportunities to advance my career in the direction I want?

Relationships

"Why am I always attracting the best, most inspirational and loving people into my life?"

"Why am I able to connect so easily with others?"

Health

"Why do I always experience such vibrant and excellent health?"

"Why is my body so able to heal and rejuvenate beautifully as I sleep?"

 Financial Wellbeing

"Why do I always have more than enough money for everything I need and want to do?"

"Why is it so easy for me to receive wealth and financial prosperity into my life?"

More Resources...

For more on this topic I highly recommend this video by MindValley, and the book Atomic Habits by James Clear.

I hope you'll put this method to the test this week, and please let me know in the comments how it goes and share this post with your friends and loved ones. I wish you the best of everything. Peace.

Claudia